“You would look so much better if you lost some weight-“
“You would be so much cuter with make up-“
“Make sure you shave or wax way all that body hair-“
“You shouldn’t wear that-“
“You would be beautiful if you just changed how you look-“
Ooh I’ve never heard of this before, I’ll have to check it out! Anon, if you’re still around maybe this this could be something that works for you? Thank you so much for your suggestion xx
Truth be told I am leaning more to the relaxed and effortless look. Because it takes less out of me. A brush of mascara, bushy eyebrows. a loose tee-shirt. No bra, tennis shoes. It’s comfortable and it feels more real to me. I don’t feel like I’m going out of my way to make sure I’m flawless.
I like leaving my arms hairy and my hair uncombed and unstraightened. The stress of having to be perfect is not worth it. Perfection is unattainable.
Both my most recent post and this; http://hirsuteandcute.tumblr.com/post/71370390714/sometimes-i-wonder-what-if-must-be-like-for-other
post got me thinking about how messed up it is that women are literally judged by what kind of genes we have, the thing we can control the least is also what we’re judged by the most, that somehow what we’ve been given defines our value, worth and how deserving we are of doing certain things, wearing certain things or even how much happiness we deserve to feel in ourselves. Like I come from a generally hairy ass ethnic background, hairy family and on top of which I also have PCOS which is extremely uncomfortable, painful and not easy to treat but no sympathy at all is given for women in my situation. Standards in west and now most other societies too since they’ve been shaped by western standards, make no allowance whatsoever for women with ‘undesirable traits’ in their genes regarding hairiness, weight, complexion etc and it’s so fucked up. I genuinely think it’s so unfair that women that are fortunate to not grow as much hair as I do get it so much easier. The amount of opportunities I’ve missed out just bc I’ve felt too hairy to do certain things is ridiculous, I genuinely felt like I didn’t deserve to do them until I was completely hairless. I’ve got comments on here from girls who say their hirsutism makes them want to kill themselves because they feel so bad, like this is what it’s getting to, women feeling like they can’t even live unless they can conform completely to what men want. It’s important to bear in mind that at the end of the day the people who enforce these standards on us are rich white dudes tryna make a buck off our insecurities, literally they do not care about any of us at all. It doesn’t matter if you’re too sick, tired, can’t afford it, busy, or choose not to we’re still expected to do whatever these people say and it just makes me so angry.
Idk maybe I’m just being a bit bitter but I’ve had this on my mind for so long and just wanted to get it off my chest.
So I’m sleeping over at a friends house tomorrow and I should be excited but I don’t really feel it right now bc I’m all hairy everywhere and I know she’s gonna be wearing these tiny little tank top and short pajamas and wondering why I’m wearing full length everything since it’s so bloody sticky and humid over here. These are the times I really envy non hirsute girls, like imagine just being able to put whatever on with minimal effort whereas now I’m wondering what pjs will keep me cool and cover all my hair or alternatively how I’m going to remove leg, thigh, armpit, upper arm, shoulder hair etc by tomorrow. Like she’s a really good friend so I don’t think she’d make fun of me or anything but I’m just annoyed bc I worry about these things so much, like I never feel like I can do things impromptu bc I’m so hairy all the time and the hair just grows back so quickly!!
10 BETTER BODY AFFIRMATIONS FOR YOUNG WOMEN
1. Your body is in flux for the rest of your life. Think of your body as fluid instead of static — it’s always going to change. So get comfortable with those changes.
2. No one will love you or not love you because of your body. You are lovable because you’re you, not because your body looks a certain way.
3. The most intensely personal relationship you’ll ever have is with your body. It’s a lifelong relationship that’s well worth investing in and nurturing the same way you would with loved ones.
4. You don’t owe your body to anyone. Not sexually, not aesthetically. Your body is yours. Period.
5. What someone else says about your body says more about them than it does about you. Look past the actual snark to the person who’s saying it, because it’s only a reflection of what they think of themselves. That’s when you’ll see how little power their words have.
6. Your body is not a reflection of your character. It’s a physical home for the complex and wondrous and unique being that is you.
7. Take up as much space as you want. You don’t have to be small, or quiet, or docile, regardless of your physical size.
8. Everything you need to accept your body is already inside you. There’s no book, or diet, or workout routine or external affirmation that you need to feel good about your body right now.
9. Your body is a priority. It’s always trying to tell you things. Taking the time to listen to is of the utmost importance.
10. Wear whatever you want. Your body shape does not dictate your personal style, and fashion rules that say otherwise are wrong. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and beautiful, because guess what? You are.
"We all grow body hair, men and women alike, but when I stopped shaving, my own family called it “mannish” and accused me of “trying too hard” to make a point. In actuality, there’s nothing innately masculine or feminine about my underarm hair. If a woman stops shaving, she doesn’t suddenly begin to look like a man— she looks like a woman who stopped shaving. Furthermore, to maintain hairlessness takes a specific action. Hair growth is the result of inaction, the body’s natural processes. I do not have to try to grow my body hair; it’s shaving it off that takes effort…In an ideal world, all women would choose whether they want to shave or not. It should, however, be an informed and mindful choice. I don’t claim to know for certain why most women shave, but I do fear many women shave, and believe they have to, because that is the only option our culture gives us. This does not mean I am judging each individual woman’s ability to make decisions for herself or that I want to take away women’s “freedom” to shave. There will always be exceptions, women who have made a conscious decision to shave for reasons of their own. Maybe they are swimmers. Maybe they have a skin condition. Maybe they just really do feel more comfortable that way and it has nothing to do with upholding and supporting sexist beauty rules. And that’s fine by me. The point is that it should be fine either way. But if we don’t occasionally question these traditions, it’s easy to develop a culture in which dissent is not allowed and no one remembers why they do what they do or whether they even really want to. — From my blog, http://www.bellypride.blogspot.com/2013/05/a-hairy-situation.html
Since I’ve gotten hairy I automatically feel so much less of a person than every one.. Whilst looking at potential dates the first question I ask myself is “will they stick by me when they realise I have this problem, or will they just be judgemental?” I’m sick of feeling…
I don’t usually recommend specific products but for those of you who shave this product is sooo amazing, I have really sensitive skin and try not to shave most of the time but whenever I do using this makes it so much easier. I got it from Lush and it’s called the D’Fluff shaving soap, I don’t get any irritation after shaving when I use it, even on sensitive areas like bikini line or face and it doesn’t clog up the razor either which was the problem I was having with a lot of other shaving creams. Also it’s pink(!) and smells really really good. This isn’t meant to be like an advert or anything but I thought it might help those of you who get a lot of irritation while shaving, especially on the neck or face. x
the first step towards confidence is not being afraid to be ugly
once you get over the fear of being unattractive and stop equating beauty with other good things in life (friends, love, happiness) it’s a lot easier to love yourself unconditionally
your job is not to sit around and be pretty and easy on everyone else’s eyes
your job is to do whatever the fuck you want and look however the fuck you want while doing it
This is how I got confident